In life

Sometimes in life we feel alone. Sometimes we can find ourselves in a huge room with hundreds of people and we still find ourselves alone. That feeling is honestly nothing more than terrifying to even the strongest person. Living your life as a Christian and sacrificing everything for God, and then finding yourself alone that feels devastating! I found myself in this place about a month ago. I became frustrated with God because I honestly felt that he had left me all alone for me to figure out this life all on my own. But soon did I find, that he hadn't left me in fact I had found myself in a place of quietly pulling myself from the heart of God. Maybe you've felt this way before, maybe God was once prominent in your life, you lived day to day for Him and with Him. But one day you turned around and he wasn't there. Then you find yourself in a place of bitterness and anger at God. Then you find yourself at a place of is God even there? Does he exist? I've been there, I've been a lot of places. Most recently I questioned myself of wanting to know why I keep torturing myself by not drinking, and partying and having sex. Because I've been there I know its fun. I believed that there was a heaven and a hell. But that was way away, all I was honestly asking for was for something to fill this whole of loneliness and for God to send that one thing that my heart is aching for. That one thing that I have missed for the last two years. GOD WHERE ARE YOU? I would silently scream in my head..... WHY ARE YOU TORTURING ME? WHY CAN'T I JUST BE HAPPY AND DO WHAT I WANT FOR A CHANGE....



I got to go to a party Saturday night with a lot of my old friends from high school. The people that I used to party with all the time. God revealed a few things to me. He took me back to the night I got a call that she was pregnant, he took me back to those nights of drinking to cover every bit of hurt that I had in my life only to wake up with a headache and a heartache! He took me back to the place of trying to hook up with a different girl every night, he took me back to a place of an insecure boy with no hope and no dreams! The place of living for that second taking no account for where my life was headed.... no where!



I found out that one of my friends is pregnant with a guy she doesn't love and can barely stand, I heard a still small voice whisper " I saved you from this" I hear of one of my best friends in High School who is 22 and sitting in a bar crying because he has no hope and no direction... I heard a still small voice whisper " I saved you from this" I saw one of my buddies all over a girl he met 30 minutes before they disappear off to a room with no clue of the STD's or the Chance of pregnancy that awaits..... yet again I hear a still small voice whisper " I saved you from this" I see friends doing keg stands and coming over making jokes so slurred that no one can understand his mumblings, while trying to impress people he makes himself look like a fool.... I once again heard a still small voice whisper " I saved you from this" I see all of this around me and I realize that these people are searching each having an insecurity each having some thing they are hiding, but what they don't realize is the only person they are fooling are themselves. It's a false illusion of fun and happiness but they are miserable still searching to fill a void only one thing can fill. He took me back to a place where I lie on someones back porch with alcohol poisoning feeling like I was literally going to die and honestly deserving death.. I hear a still small voice whisper " I saved you from this, I saved you out of love, My mercy and my grace carried you, I SAVED YOU FROM ETERNAL HELL!" a punishment I deserved I praise God today for how much he loves me. He loves you too right where you are! Come back to Him! Answer the call... before its too late. His ways are the only path to happiness! He's calling tonight could be the last time you ever hear him call again. Is this life of temporary pleasure worth spending forever in torture far more than anything we can fathom? Answer the call Accept Jesus into your heart and begin living the life you know you're called to. Jesus is calling! Time is short my prayers are with you, whom ever you may be ! God Bless